These Aren’t the Droids You’re Looking For
To best visualize the control bad boys have over women, let’s revisit a classic Jedi mind trick scene from the original Star Wars. In this scene, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, and the droids are stopped by a group of storm troopers, who are actually looking for these exact droids. But Obi-Wan lays down the Jedi mind trick on the weak-minded storm trooper and that’s all she wrote.
Storm Trooper: Let me see some identification.
Obi-Wan waves his hand magically at the Storm Trooper.
Obi-Wan: You don’t need to see his identification.
The Storm Trooper looks stunned, then…
Storm Trooper: We don’t need to see his identification.
Obi-Wan: These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.
Storm Trooper: These aren’t the droids we’re looking for.
Obi-Wan: He can go about his business.
Storm Trooper: You can go about your business.
Obi-Wan: Move along.
Storm Trooper: Move along. Move along.
Now bear in mind that not all women are storm troopers and not all men have Jedi mind powers, but enough of each do that it puzzles good men, and the friends of those women, as to why they stay with these guys. What is it about bad boys that allows them to brainwash good women into staying, even when they know they shouldn’t?
The reason this happens is because bad boys are master manipulators who have learned the powerful technique of intermittent reinforcement (IR). You’ve probably heard of positive reinforcement (giving someone something they want when they do something good) and even negative reinforcement (taking something away from someone when they do something bad).
Well IR is simply a combination of both, but at random intervals. To clarify, let’s look at the famous pigeon experiment.
There was a famous psychology experiment that locked a pigeon in a cage with a bar that he could peck on to get food. There were three different situations the pigeon encountered. In the first, the pigeon never got any food when it pecked the bar. Obviously it didn’t take long before it never pecked it again. In the second, the pigeon got food every time it pecked the bar, and it would soon, predictably, only peck it when it got hungry.
However, in the third situation the pigeon would only get food sometimes when it pecked the bar. Here, the pigeon pecked the bar all the time, frantically as though it was obsessed. The experimenters called this intermittent reinforcement and it has been proven to be an extremely powerful motivator for getting the type of behavior you want out of someone.
How Bad Boys Control Women
Bad boys, through the masterful use of IR, are consistently able to treat women like dirt, knowing full well that they aren’t going anywhere. Here’s how they do it.
The first thing bad boys do is to set up a pattern of positive reinforcement. They treat their woman like a queen and give her everything she wants (passion, love, money, etc.) This is the most important step, because this will determine how much of a hold he has later. Many times the bad boy is the sweetest, most interesting person the woman has ever known. This is the hook. Then, at the very first sign of her taking his kindness for granted, he stops and withdraws all of it instantly. The woman then struggles to regain this kindness and he’s got her.
Just like pigeons, humans can’t resist IR either. When a person is treated great all of the time by someone, they will invariably start to take that behavior for granted. So when a guy is always nice and sweet to his woman it becomes expected of him. She always knows exactly what she’s going to get. There’s no mystery there and, like it or not, mystery is interesting.
When a bad boy withdraws his kindness it’s mind control. It’s just like that pigeon pecking at the pole, because the woman now becomes obsessed with getting that food again-in this case the food being his “good side.” When the bad boy feels as though he’s starting to lose her, he simply turns the charm back on, but only until she takes him for granted again, then wash, rinse, and repeat. This is the real Jedi mind trick that bad boys use and it’s how they always seem to get (and keep) the woman.
People Want What They Can’t Have
It’s human nature that we want things that we cannot have and take for granted things that are easily obtained, no matter how good they might be. This is the trait that makes us want things we can’t afford or chase after women that are way out of our league. It’s the same trait that makes good women stay with bad guys and ignore the good ones.
Bad boys always have the mentality that “I can take you or leave you, either way is no big deal.” They flirt with other women, have lots of friends, and ignore her phone calls from time to time. Because of all this, their woman begins to doubt whether or not she can really have him.
Think about your old relationships (or your current one). I’ll bet there was someone you could never really get over, even though they were obviously bad for you. I’ll bet that sometimes that person was great! Maybe they were fun, hilarious and amazing in bed. But other times, they had some serious issues going on that made you want to leave and yet you stayed. Even after you finally parted ways you still thought about them, didn’t you?
If you felt like you did everything possible to please them and it was never enough, then you now understand the power of intermittent reinforcement.
Now that you understand what intermittent reinforcement is, the next time you run across a storm trooper-like woman who’s being controlled with an Obi-Wan mind trick, send her this article. Have her take off that storm trooper mask and incorporate her own powers-
The power to recognize, reject, and release.
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